“Leaving NCT” Lucas talks about his feelings regarding his private issues... “I wonder if I have any fans, I’m really sorry.”

Lucas, who left the boy group NCT due to private problems, has revealed his feelings.

　On the 24th, the documentary part 1 'Freeze' was posted on singer Lucas' official channel.

　When asked what he was up to that day, Lukas replied: 'I'm always at home. I watch TV, eat dinner and go to work sometimes, but nothing special". "I used to have a strong personality. And the world was too small. I acted like I knew everyone," he said, "Now I listen to the other person and don't talk about me much. The reason why my character and thoughts have changed like this now is mostly because of that incident".

　Recalling those days, Lucas said, "For six months, I was in my room all the time. I didn't want to do anything. I thought too much and my hair fell out all the time. I had no appetite and didn't eat properly," and added: "I had bad thoughts. I was really sorry and wanted to die. To be honest, it was all my fault. If I hadn't done this, it would have been different."

　He continued: "In the past, I wasn't normal" and said: "People would call me if I went anywhere, and if I didn't sleep alone in my room, no one would call me. I was very lonely". He added: "I thought a lot of strange things alone. I wanted to call my parents but I didn't know what to say and my world completely changed. I didn't know how to resolve my frustration." and "I wanted so much to be with the other members when they took a break or went somewhere together. However, since I had been going back and forth to overseas by myself for so long, I couldn't do that and it made me even lonelier," he recalled.

　Lucas said that he felt the members were disappointed in him and that he was really sorry. I have a lot of memories of spending time with the members in the past, but it always comes back to me suddenly. I want to be with them so badly. We used to exercise and ride kickboards together," he expressed nostalgia and added: "For whatever reason, we shouldn't have done that. Now I've really changed my mind, learnt a lot and realised a lot of my bad points."

　He also met with Lee Seong-soo, Chief A&R Officer of SM Entertainment. Lee Seong-soo said, "I get a lot of comments and a lot of messages. （What are you going to do (with Lucas) and what are your plans? It's difficult to know how to answer", he said, "It's right that we feel sorry for our fans and the public. But we can't just do that, we have to work harder (to be sorry)", he stressed.

　In response, Lucas said, "It has been very difficult for two years and I have thought about it a lot, but I don't want to live like this forever. I want to do my best now," he said, while also making up his mind: "I wonder if I have any fans because I haven't been active for a long time. I worry about that too. No matter how I talk about it, my fans are my driving force. I'm worried because I haven't seen them for a long time'.

　In 2021, Lucas caused controversy when revelations about his private life appeared online, with Mr A claiming that he had received fraudulent dates and gaslighting from Lucas, while another Chinese woman, Ms B, revealed that Lucas had met and cheated on her with a Korean fan, demanded expensive gifts and bad-mouthed the members of the group.

　At the time, Lucas suspended his activities and had a period of self-restraint, saying, "I had to look back on my past behaviour and sincerely reflect on it". He also left his groups 'NCT' and 'WayV', but recently made a comeback by opening a personal account.